Mom life can be very hectic on any given day, leaving us feeling exhausted – both physically and mentally. In fact, if we are being honest, parenting can by far be one of the most challenging yet rewarding things we will ever do.
But thankfully, as Christian mothers, (married or single) we don’t have to do any of it alone. We have a God who is with us every step of the way, and scriptural guidance that we can utilize throughout our journey.
It is in that light, that I write this post to share five important practices that all Christian mothers should be intentional about that will help to promote the balance we need in our daily lives.
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Prioritize Your Time With God Above Everything
This may sound like a no brainer, but one of the most common areas in which Christians in general tend to struggle in their spiritual journey is spending time with God. And believe me, Christian mothers are no exception.
As a single mom that works full time, does ministry, maintains a website, produces written content weekly, and takes online courses, trust me I know that it can be a struggle to balance how you spend your time each day.
However, I am also a witness that when you prioritize your time with God above EVERYTHING else, that it literally makes all the difference in the world!
I think as moms, we overcomplicate what “time with God” is in our minds, which causes us to either do it rarely, or neglect it altogether. Time with God typically involves two things: reading God’s Word (hearing from God) and prayer (talking to God).
- Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Matthew 4:4 NIV
- Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105 NIV
- Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1 NIV
- Pray continually. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 NIV
As moms, we often try to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, believing that we must figure out everything for ourselves and our kids. But God, never intended for us to figure out life all on our own. The whole point of being a Christian is to live life with God – trusting and depending on Him. And we can ONLY learn to do that by spending time with Him regularly.
However, let me relieve you of some of the burdens and misconceptions that often come along with finding time with God.
First, it’s important to know that prioritizing your time with God does NOT mean it must be one of the first things you do every day. The reality is that we all have different schedules and circumstances.
Some of us work overnight, part time, or may even have two jobs. Some of us have one child, and some of us have multiple children. Some of us are married, and some of us are single. Some of us are pursuing a college degree or running a side business.
Whatever your circumstances are, making your time with God a regular routine, simply means committing to doing it as often as you possibly can. Prioritizing it above everything means making sure whatever schedule you commit to, that you stick to it, even if it means something else gets neglected.
What that looks like can vary from mother to mother.
I always suggest that if you are currently not setting aside any time with God at all, that you simply get started. And starting can be 1-2 times a week, on whatever days work best for you. Its not about the days you pick, the time of the day you choose, or even the amount of time you set aside, it’s about establishing a regular routine in which you intentionally spend time with God.
Fifteen minutes with God on Mondays at noon, and Thursdays at 7pm, is better than NO intentional time with God at all.
There are many distractions in life (i.e., social media, TV, and the internet) that steal time that we could be spending with God. But I promise you, as Christian mothers, making our time with God a priority is not only vital, but it will set the tone for everything else in your life. It is the one thing that will positively impact our lives, our parenting, our children, and our homes the most.
RELATED POSTS AND RESOURCES:
- 30 Bible Verses About Spending Time With God
- How to Pray When You Have No Clue Where to Start
- Fall in Love With God’s Word: Practical Strategies for Busy Women
Incorporate Self-Care Daily
Self-care is biblical, and something that we as Christian mothers should not overlook in our daily routines. There are three key areas of self-care that we should focus on: spiritual, physical, and mental.
As Christians, spiritual self-care, which we covered in the previous section, is by far the most important (spending time with God). All other areas of our self-care will stem from there. In fact, when we take time to see what the bible says about self-care, that gives us our basis for all the other areas.
When it comes to physical self-care, oftentimes due to hectic schedules, and inability to find balance, many mothers tend to adapt poor diets, become less active, and get very little sleep.
In fact, a huge part of the reason we often feel exhausted is because we don’t practice physical self-care the way we should.
- No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. Ephesians 5:29 NLT
- Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. Proverbs 23:20-21 NIV
- Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Romans 12:11 NLT
- It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. Psalms 127:2 NLT
The bottom line is that we need to take care of our bodies. If we don’t eat right, stay active, or get proper rest, we will feel miserable, burnt out, and may even face unnecessary health issues.
Last, but certainly not least is mental self-care. There are plenty of negative influences all around us that seek to keep our minds focused on all the wrong things. Unfortunately, we can’t control every single thought that pops into our head. But we can choose which thoughts to entertain or disregard once they show up.
Practicing mental self-care involves meditating on God’s Word, monitoring our thoughts to discern good thinking from bad thinking, and intentionally focusing on positive and uplifting things.
- You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 NLT
- Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT
- Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV
We must be intentional about incorporating self-care daily. Make time to adjust your grocery list to incorporate healthy foods and snacks. Make time to get up and move! At minimum, take a walk at least 15-20 minutes a day (around your office building, around your neighborhood, at a local park). I have a cousin who paces back and forth in her apartment and up and down her stairs just to get her daily step count completed!
Get rid of things that trigger or increase negative thoughts. This may mean changing what you watch on TV, taking a break from social media, or reducing time spent talking to or hanging out with certain people.
When we don’t make an effort to take care of ourselves spiritually, physically, and mentally, we will be less effective for ourselves, our children, and God.
Make Time to Do the Things You Enjoy
So many mothers complain that they never get to do anything fun or exciting, or that it’s hard for them to find time to enjoy themselves.
However, in this too ladies, we must be intentional. We must make time to do the things we enjoy. Jesus came and died for us to have and enjoy life abundantly:
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance {to the full, till it overflows}.
John 10:10 AMP
As Christian mothers, we are not called to go non-stop, day in and day out, without ever catching our breath or having time to relax and do the things we enjoy. Our society (especially in America) promotes hustle culture to the point where it almost looks cool to work 80 hours a week and get little to no sleep, just to achieve a level of success – none of which is biblical by the way.
If you ask me, we are the ones who hinder our own enjoyment of life. We must be intentional about making time to do the things we enjoy. That means slowing down and pausing sometimes to take a breather. And I promise you, the world will not end, if you take time to do something fun or relaxing.
- The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care, and their inheritance will endure forever. In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. Psalm 37:18-19 NIV
- Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds. Isaiah 3:10 NIV
- So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV
It doesn’t matter how long of a day I’ve had, or what didn’t get done from my “to do” list, I set aside at least an hour every single evening to relax and do nothing, or to do something I enjoy. During the week its usually anything from having a glass of wine while reading a book, taking a meditation walk, reclining in my chair and listening to music, or watching one of my favorite TV shows while eating dinner.
Then on the weekends, when I can give myself more time it may be a bubble bath, trying a new restaurant, hanging out with a friend, a hot-stone massage, a mani-pedi, binging a Netflix show from the comfort of my couch, or a Sunday afternoon nap!
Even if your schedule only allows 15-30 minutes a day, I promise that you can do the same for yourself! You just have to be intentional about it.
BE SURE TO GRAB YOUR COPY: 20 Ways to Enjoy Life More as a Christian
Connect With a Community of Support
Another beneficial thing we must be intentional about doing for ourselves as Christian mothers is connecting with other mothers in our community.
Whether its other moms from your family, your circle of friends, from work, from your church, or from online communities that you are a part of, it is important to establish at least some level of outside support. God never intended for us to function alone – even for those who are introverts like me and prefer to be alone most of the time.
- Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV
- Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. Proverbs 27:9 NIV
- Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV
- Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV
- As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 NIV
We don’t have to figure out everything about parenting on our own. Along with Himself and His Word, God graciously provides resources in the form of other people to help us along the way.
And contrary to what others may tell you, your community of support does NOT have to consist of only Christians. God can and will use anyone and anything for His purpose – and that includes non-Christians. As you spend more time reading God’s Word, you will see how often God did this throughout Scripture.
There have been so many occasions where God has used people that I would have never even thought to approach for help, to give me the advice, assistance, suggestions, or direct me to the resources that I needed.
Because all our situations are unique, there is no one size fits all community of support. Some of us will need to connect with mothers that have suffered the loss of a child, dealt with rebellious teens, have experience dealing with children who have been abused, have anxiety or depression, or who have attempted to harm themselves or even commit suicide.
Other times, things may be okay as far as our children are concerned, but we as mothers may be going through personal issues that we are struggling with regarding motherhood. The list is endless.
The point is, we all will need help at one point or another, and it’s important and biblical that we reach out for help when needed. And if you don’t know who to call, or perhaps legitimately have no one to turn to, pray and ask God for direction and resources.
This past year has been my most challenging year as a mom. Initially, I had no clue what to do, but to cry out to God. And one thing I can tell you is that when we cry out to Him, He hears and listens.
- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
- Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 NIV
My son has been working with some of the best therapists and support personnel that I could have ever asked for. And my mother, spiritual mother, and mothers in my circle of friends (both Christian and non-Christian) have been more than a blessing to me throughout this entire process.
So do yourself a favor and get connected with a good community of support. It doesn’t have to be a huge community, but you need to have someone.
Give Yourself Some Grace
This is one of my favorite intentional practices as a mom that God has been teaching me to do more of recently – to give myself some grace. To stop expecting perfection. To forgive myself for my mistakes. To ease up on myself instead of beating myself up all the time.
Ladies, let me tell you, there is no manual for motherhood. Even the Bible only provides guidance, but no step-by-step instructions for how to be a good mother. No matter what stage of life your children are at, parenting will be a learning process.
The thing to remember is that we can only do what we can. Take care of them. Teach and train them. Provide structure and boundaries for them. Set good examples for them. Listen to them and give them good advice. Discipline them as needed. And most importantly, talk to them about God, who He is, and why a relationship with Him matters more than anything else in this world.
None of us will do everything listed above perfectly. In fact, we may miss some things from the list altogether. But the fact is, we will all make mistakes along the way.
In light of all this, we must learn to give ourselves some grace – to be patient with ourselves and put away our standards of perfection when it comes to parenting.
As a single mom I’ve always felt the pressure to go above and beyond. I felt I had to be a mom and a dad to my son. I had to prove that I could be just as good as married moms.
These lines of thinking led me to being very discouraged, depressed, and angry at myself whenever I made a bad parenting decision, or whenever my son would get out of line. I would literally look at myself as a failure.
But over the years, God has taught me, and continues to remind me that everything we do in this life on earth is meant to be done by His grace, and in His strength.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV
God has given each of us our own unique situations so that we can learn to depend on and trust in Him.
I’ll leave you with a secret: there is no formula that says great parenting equals or guarantees great kids. That’s another life lesson I learned just from reading the bible! The Old Testament is full of stories about amazing God-fearing people who had some of the most evil and rebellious kids. Not to mention evil people, who had some of the most God-fearing kids!
So, ladies do what you can as Christian mothers, namely the things God has called us to do in His Word. But leave the rest up to God. We can’t control the paths our children will take, the decisions they will make, or the futures they will have. But thankfully, we serve a God who is in control of it all.
I promise you that when we become intentional about prioritizing our time with God above everything, incorporating self-care daily, making time to do the things we enjoy, connecting with a community of support, and giving ourselves some grace, we will have more balanced lives, be more effective for our kids, feel better overall, and function better as the Christian mothers God has called us to be.
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